'I'm Sorry, I Love You': A History of Professional Wrestling by Jim Smallman: a review

Let’s open with this: I am unapologetically a professional wrestling fan. I was mad into it as a kid, and while I fell off for a good while, I dove headfirst back into an old passion thanks to the wild world of completely crowdless promos thanks to Ms. Rona. Real joy is watching Steve Austin yell “gimme a hell yeah”, pointing out to the “audience” before it hard cuts to empty seats. Yes, I have my problems with the industry, both how it used to be, and how it is today, but it’s something that brings me unbelievable joy, so I’m always happy to find out more about this wonderful part of my heart.

            ‘I’m Sorry, I Love You’: A History of Professional Wrestling by Jim Smallman is as it says right on the cover, a history of professional wrestling. From the early days of the Gold Dust Trio right through to the women’s revolution. Going through the good, the bad, and the Monday Night Wars, if you’re a die-hard fan, or just looking for an entertaining way to learn a little more, Smallman gives you everything you need and more.

            I don’t believe I ever did a standalone review for Andrew O’Neill’s A History of Heavy Metal If I did it must have been really early on in this blog’s life. However, I know that I’ve spoken about it at least, and I got a lot of the same type of enjoyment from this as I did that, and much for the same reason. There’s a particular cadence to the way the two of them write, I can only assume down to them both being comedians (more specifically British comedians as there is a certain style to British comedy). Most obviously, there’s the entertainment factor coming from what they do, but there’s more than that; non-fiction can often be alienating, feeling more like a research paper even if it’s meant for wider consumption. There’s something a lot more casual to this that I really appreciate. I don’t really gravitate to non-fiction all that much, and I always love finding something I can sink my teeth into.

            I’m really glad that Smallman was prepared to go into some of the darker aspects of the industry. While some areas are explored more than others, I’m glad this wasn’t what it so easily could have been – an almost best of with fleeting glimpses, maybe diving into the Montreal Screwjob. I’d get it; it’s easy as a fan to go through the moments that make your heart sing, but wrestling has its fair share of garbage fires burning in its history. The lax use of racial stereotypes, and the treatment of women in the late 1990’s and throughout the 2000’s (both of which have seen improvements, but there’s certainly still a ways to go). These two aspects of the industry are more sort of brought up throughout as they aren’t so much moments as evolving changes, but there are darker moments explored too such as the steroid crisis, the Montreal Screwjob, and perhaps most surprisingly, everything that happened with Chris Benoit. It’s understandable that his actions aren’t something spoken of frequently, but I think there’s sometimes a tendency to pretend like he never existed. Yes, this is a generally comedic and entertaining book, but I think it’s only right that Smallman didn’t gloss over the darkest days of the industry.

            I did get this from Burnley Library, but I’ve already got myself the audiobook version, and I’ll be getting my own physical copy as soon as I can, because I can see this becoming somewhat of a comfort book for me. It’s generally fun and easy going, and I know I could easily dip in and out of it. No matter if you’re mad into wrestling, trying to get into it, or a complete stranger, then this is a great telling of the history.

            Also, final side note, this was written in 2018. For a start, that means AEW was barely a twinkle in the eye of Tony Khan and the Rhodes brothers. It also means that, if you’ve been following wrestling at all since the beginning of the pandemic, you’ll spot a fair amount of the people referenced here have actually been released since publication. However, the real reason I wanted to make this little kind of “P.S” was this quote (which may or may not have made me shed a tear):

[CM] Punk returning to wrestling would be the most shocking thing that could happen at this point; let’s see how well this book ages over the next few years, shall we?