So Happy It Hurts by Anneliese Mackintosh: a review

I’ve been trying to get out of a reading slump recently, and I went back to my usual plan of action to get out of it: audiobooks. I recently found out about Borrow Box, a way to borrow audio and e-books from an online library. Many libraries in the UK use this; you just need your library card to login. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for, but this was on the front page, so I gave it a go.

            So Happy It Hurts by Anneliese Mackintosh follows Ottila McGregor during her first year of sobriety. It’s a story of looking for happiness, finding love, and the troubles of mental health. While light-hearted, it delves into some tough topics, and does so in a way that will sit with you long after reading.

            The way that Mackintosh looks at mental health is one of the best I’ve seen in contemporary fiction. Humour is used in a way that feels like you’re laughing with the characters rather than at them, and there’s that feeling that you shouldn’t always be laughing but you can’t help it. I mean that in the sort of way that when your friend says something a little off kilter, and you laugh a little but immediately then go oh no.

            It isn’t all light though. The way that people behave terribly despite their better judgement is portrayed brilliantly. Mental health struggles can make you act out, but that doesn’t necessarily make it okay. These characters are sometimes kind of rotten, but they learn from their mistakes. As well as this, the way that Mackintosh delves into recovery is incredible. This isn’t a case of vowing sobriety, and everything is wonderful; there’s temptation and relapse, and you can see how it affects Ottila and her relationships.

            I also really appreciate that Mackintosh looks into how recovery isn’t just being perfectly happy. The story of Ottila’s sister is heart-breaking at times, but sometimes things remain tough for longer than we hope. It takes so much time and specialists, and not everyone’s “better” is the same.

             While sexuality isn’t as much of a theme as mental health and recovery, I adore the way she talks about being bisexual. I can’t recall the exact phrasing, but there’s a little passage about it can be hard to fit in with both straight spaces and gay spaces. If I had a physical copy, I’d have noted it down because it hit the nail right on the head. You don’t see bisexuality talked about this well in books that aren’t explicitly about sexuality, but this is phenomenal.

            This might just be a surprise entry in my top 10 at the end of the year. There’s so much to love in this book, and I absolutely recommend this book to you. The audiobook is on Borrow Box, and I really do think I’ll be getting my own physical copy so I can keep coming back to it.