Piers Morgan's Vegan Lover by Alizee Yeezy

I’ve watched Alizee for a wee bit now, and she recently brought up her book in one of her videos. I checked it out on Amazon, and it looked like good fun, so I thought I’d give it a go.

            Before I get onto the little plot synopsis, I do feel the need to say that this book is a satirical piece. I know that might be pretty obvious by the title alone, but it’s worth pointing it out.

            Piers Morgan’s Vegan Lover by Alizee Yeezy follows (unsurprisingly) Piers Morgan in a tale of forbidden (and plant-based) love. Take Romeo and Juliet and make it about the world’s worst journalist and Greggs’ finest product. It truly is a tale as old as time.

 

Before the story starts, we’re greeted with, “The following story is a work of pure fiction/satire dreamt up after too much coffee at 4am and any similarities to celebrities living or dead is entirely coincidental.” It’s a wonderful way to set the tone before the story has even started. Alizee finds a tone and sticks with it really well. Even if you don’t watch her videos, her voice really shines through every line. For example, when she writes, “All things considered, the producer was being rather polite about the ordeal, instead of doing what he actually felt like doing – which was throwing Piers into the Thames”, you can feel that narrative voice pop out.

            I was laughing out loud throughout. I say laughing, it was more a horrible little snort, but I just couldn’t stop. Actually, that’s a lie, there were a couple of occasions where I was gagging with disgust. Yes, these scenes were still funny, I just wish I didn’t have those images in my head. These things will never leave me, and I will be forever haunted.

            Despite being scarred, I do genuinely recommend this book. Despite only being about ten pages long, it hits points really well and is so ridiculously funny. There’s also a version on YouTube where Alizee reads it on her channel, so if you can’t pick up the book itself, there’s an alternative for you.