Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters: a review

It’s been a while since I let myself get so engrossed in a book that I forgot to take notes. To be honest, it is way easier to do so when you’re listening to an audiobook. Despite honestly having mixed feelings about this book, I was undeniably hooked.

            Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters explores gender, sexuality, and parenthood (especially motherhood), and how those three can interact. Trans women, Reese and Amy had a seemingly perfect relationship, but after turmoil and an attack, it all came crumbling down. Years later, after Amy had detransitioned to become Ames, he calls Reese to ask if she wants in on an unusual preposition. Can Reese, Ames, and his pregnant boss, Katrina, really make three-way parenting work?

            While my overall feelings towards this book are positive, I think my biggest issue with it is its struggle with universal experiences. Sometimes it’s really good at battling the idea that the trans experience is this singular universal thing felt by everyone in the community. I appreciate when it does this because it’s an issue from within the trans community as well as out of it. However, sometimes it fails to break away from this. As much as anything, I feel like a lot of it comes from the experiences that American trans women are perhaps more likely to go through. Even then, America is a damn big place, there isn’t even an “American trans experience” that every trans person in the states has lived through. It didn’t ruin my experience of the book, but it is something that really stuck with me throughout.

            I think one of my favourite things about this book is that these characters are all enjoyable to read about, but they aren’t always necessarily likeable. I think character creation is where Peters really flourishes; they are, of course, what drives the plot, and even when they’re doing things that make you want to turn against them, you can’t help but keep wanting to see more.

            There’s one scene that really stuck with me that I just really loved. It’s a flashback from Ames/Amy looking back at the early days of realising their trans identity. They’re in a shop with an older date, and they come to find that it’s full of items designed for trans women and crossdressers. I’m not saying these two are in any way the same, and neither is Peters. It’s just a case of these clothes being designed to fit people who are assigned male at birth. Anyway, the reason I love this scene is the way that Amy talks about the shop assistant. It’s the perfect showing of a) show don’t tell, and b) and how to use that technique to give the best description of gender envy I’ve ever seen. I love that it isn’t even clear that it’s gender envy they’re feeling at first, but it becomes more and more clear. There is something different about the feeling of that kind of envy when the person you’re jealous of is themselves trans, and that’s captured brilliantly here.

            This is a genuinely incredible book that I absolutely recommend. It’s one that I want to go back to in the future. While I have mixed feelings, no book is ever going to be completely perfect, and I think a book like this is worth going back to so you can explore it further. I found it on Audible, which is an app I’m trying to somewhat steer away from, but I have a free membership until the end of the year, so I’m going to make the most of it. I have since seen it at Burnley Library as well, so you can always head there if you’re local to the area.